Okay, so I’m not exactly sure when the term self-care became trendy or more appropriate for the masses. Whatever the case (be it good fortune or modern technological advances that helped generate its lucrative publicity), it’s a good thing, certainly, that it has become more well-known. However, recently it would appear the term has also become somewhat saturated. When I discuss it with clients – or even with friends and family – at times I feel as though I perceive an inner (or actual) eye-roll from the person across from me. Their body language responds to the suggestion as if it were unreachable. Uncomfortable. Maybe even unworthy. As if to say that negotiating any time in their busy life to tend to themselves is rather low on the totem pole of priorities.
I get it. Or at the very least, I can imagine how this happens today. Spreading ourselves too thin. Worrying about others’ needs or expectations well before or above our own. Expending time and energy from a very logistical and urgent place, be it at work, at home, in our relationships. (Note: I wrote a logistical place, not an altruistic place.) Self-care these days is often viewed as superfluous as meandering around Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media outlet. “A brief disconnect,” one might argue. “It’s how I check-out while also keeping up with others and the news.” Can these social streams connect both ends of that ideology? Perhaps. Can they disarm us from a fundamentally human approach to living? Absolutely.
And don’t get me wrong: some of my self-care tactics include sitting down for an hour of poorly-scripted ‘reality’ television with a glass of red wine. Unwinding is important – more so, crucial to the avoidance of burnout. But, when did self-care become secondary; supplementary depending on the weight or intensity of one’s day? Treated like a reward system for accomplishing XYZ?
As an EmbodyedTides favorite, review the following definitions: Self – “a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from another.” Care – “the provision of what is necessary for health, welfare and protection of something.” (Aka, YOU!) Undoubtedly, we encounter varied circumstances and people and situations every day. Because of that, I urge you to work towards developing self-care tools that serve as continued, stable activities which mentally reduce stress and anxiety, and further establish your position to handle daily fluctuations that will occur.
Taking into account the current chaos around our nation, it is a more important time than ever to prescribe mindful measures as a footing for our connection with one another. “But aren’t you asking me to then separate myself in order to be with other people? Isn’t that backwards?” What I am asking, for lack of a better phrase, is that you tune in rather than tune out. Each person will approach this idea with a different mindset. But that is the point, right? Give to yourSELF so that you can deepen internal clarity, and are able subsequently to give unto others. Lay down in the grass and look up at the clouds. Listen to classical music. Or hip-hop. Or country songs. Call up a friend and take a walk. Make art. Write. Volunteer at your local library. Make these a part of your routine, and do not neglect the chance to engage in something that feeds your soul because of whatever you “didn’t get done” today.
Overextending yourself by mistake or on purpose is preventable. If we remain idle to or on the sidelines of our own inner light, then we consent to the greater possibility of an unbalanced quality of life. Take time for yourself as you would presumably care for others in your home. Many teachers have said it before, “You cannot pour tea from an empty cup.” Replenish and rejuvenate, and please be well.