I am a believer of many things.  Some of which you probably believe in, too.  (Family.  Friendship.  Kindness.  Learning.  Avocados.)  Some of which you probably do not, and that’s okay because we are all meant to support our own truths with deliberate authenticity (I know, not always easy to achieve).  I imagine however, that living authentically must mean that at times we need to challenge ourselves and evaluate some of the beliefs to which we are quite adverse.  To find compassion and energy in at least contemplating, if not quite understanding, another side or perspective.  Look back to the recent presidential election – a definite polar divide – and wherever along the spectrum you stand, perhaps you could ponder the rest of that range.  Reflecting on it to find some clarity.  To find some peace.  Although neither might have been found at this point…

In the Yoga Sutras, the term Pratipaksha Bhavana helps describe this concept.  It means to “cultivate the opposite.”  Other Ayurvedic content articulates it as “transferring awareness from a negative standpoint to a more positive one.”  In psychotherapy, a similar construct can be found in a technique known as Cognitive Restructuring – during which the therapist can offer an alternative explanation or perception of one’s experiences.  Re:  perspective.  We all see something differently in the mirror.

And I would not deny that what we each see reflecting back is our own reality (as written in prior posts on this blog).  But what we must do is try on a new tint once and a while.  If only to widen our scope in understanding further those things that we do believe, while also improving our ability in understanding slightly those things that otherwise we could not imagine.  I also think that working Pratipaksha Bhavana includes paying attention more to one’s own intuition.  We each have a fluttering in the belly that at times seems to speak more loudly than anyone else’s external voice; how much we tap into this mystical trait is dependent on several things, but certain tools can help develop it (e.g. meditation, journaling, trusting your gut).

Abraham Hicks relays, “When something feels off, it is.”  There is work to do when we are aiming to grow.  Some of that work stems from awareness and patience of the “ick” factors that initially seem to get in the way of daily living.  We might not want to consider the other sides of things/people/situations, but during those tough encounters, that is when blossoming happens.  And know that sitting with something uncomfortably does not mean living through something interminably.  Another allegory reminds, “every flower must grow through dirt.”  Allow yourself the opportunity to climb through the metaphorical sh*t once and a while.

That does not mean it is necessary or possible all of the time.  Patanjali’s Yoga Sutras and other spiritual texts present often an ideal philosophy, that certainly in my world feels too unrealistic.  Enlightenment?  Well, I’ll just say it’s not a fast-approaching destination for me at this point.  And I don’t know what conflicts you have.  But if you yourself don’t know what they are, perhaps you can start the work right there.  Work on building an awareness of adversities you experience and then begin diffusing any subsequent agitations.  Other guides (friends, family, teachers, counselors), they can help highlight what you might not see.  But trust your gut.  Therapy-friends, we ask clients to “trust the process” right?  Same rules apply.  Life is that process, and we can do the work of Pratipaksha Bhavana to help trust more fluidly.  To help develop compassion more fervently and understand more willingly.

So take that, Conflict, meet my 2017.  Another year with a more open embrace, open mind, and open heart.  Namaste.