Well, it’s been a little while since I wrote – on account of many things. We last left off with a full(er) post regarding my misstep with schooling and licensure. Problem not exactly averted, but has been worked on, so all is well there. Then I wrote a blip of information on my journey in updating this website at the end of July. … Hmm … Let’s just say this website stuff is no joke! And not a personal strong suit. Hesitant to hire any tech support quite yet ;-D although I’m not counting it out. Plus, since I shifted my WordPress account while garnering support with Bluehost … well … things just seem more complicated than ever in a digital sense.
Although, I encourage you to check out my tabs with important info on where I practice counseling and teach yoga. Including forms that would be important were you and your family to be a future client / student within these domains!
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It’s been about 6 weeks of many feelings – many, as Carl Jung quotes, “human feelings” – and not solely due to work. My daughter began Kindergarten yesterday, and surrounding my own struggles in parenting, I was sure I would be more than thrilled to have her venture out into this new world. She has always brought it upon herself and belonged to a rich sense of reliability and routine (thanks to her mama), even when her exploration is first met with quiet observation. Sly smiles, a dipped chin, and slight inward turns of her ankles during inaugural picture-taking proved positive that she was rather tempted – though not fully certain of what her academic experience would be like. Well, I held my own up until the symbolic ‘bell’ rang and all the teachers turned ’round. They gathered all the classes and headed towards the doors at 9am. “Why is she walking away from me?!” my internal self screamed. “Why did I choose to put mascara on this morning?”
As she follows the line, her smile widens – you can tell by the way her ears and ponytail rise up – and, as if she couldn’t predict her mother any better, she turns around to look for her parents’ faces, waving goodbye ever-so-proudly at her Papa and Mama. Thankfully, she can’t see the makeup smeared across my cheeks as I had already slipped on my sunglasses. My husband giggles, and I offer a soft smack on his shoulder. “Of all Mamas,” he ponders, “Really?”
It is truly a tease, his question. I mentioned above my struggles in parenting. Not my most natural state as it turns out. That which I have found to be quite comforting has been the space I grant myself from my children, much of the time. To a few, this may seem selfish, but I honor now what works for my family and my most optimal style of mothering. Attending to my self-care practices such as: yoga, nature walks, drinking coffee, and visiting with friends is crucial. Constant dress-up, fake tea parties, and dried-up Playdoh – I could have played with these and also Barbies for hours on end younger, with my sisters. Not my forte as an adult. Today, I practically wince at all-things-pink if my oldest receives them as gifts. But, I’m softening there, too.
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Then there is the beginnings anew of private practice. The new office location is beautiful.
Is it in the beauty of the office that garners excitement? Not that alone – but it helps when the light and décor is aesthetically pleasing. Relaxing. It’s been several professional shifts that I have made in my life, but this adventure feels so assured. As of September 1, we’re open and available, awaiting and feeling gleeful about local networking and community love in our small area of the world. Despite leaving what has been a blessed experience with the Center for Families and Relationships (at least for now), I don’t believe I ever have felt more empowered and thus prepared for making this leap of faith. Fear and ambivalence? Sweeping. Commitment and self-belief? Enduring.
Maybe it was all so right that it happened now. Not quite fate, but I can really feel the energy and pleasantry of our next steps happening together, side-by-side. That is, my daughter’s schooling and personal reflections on my own such support systems. May she – and any of your children as well – connect and resonate with future mentors and educators. They do help clear some of the brush, and make paths to our dreams seem most possible. To my own Kindergarten teacher, from many moons ago, Ms. Roelofs – wherever you are, thank you.
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“One looks back with appreciation to the brilliant teachers, but with gratitude to those who touched our human feelings. The curriculum is so much necessary raw material, but warmth is the vital element for the growing plant and for the soul of the child.”
[Carl Jung]