Kindness matters. It begins with you. Then pour it unto others.
Love matters. It starts with you. Then, as you see fit, extend it outward.
Compassion matters. Begin within. Soon you’ll be able to pass it along to everyone and everything you encounter. Bequeath it to those that you do not often see, or perhaps will ever meet.
February has a misleading way about her. Valentine’s wantonness confuses many into thinking that what they buy equates to the love they hold for another. Many presume, as they seek outside of themselves, they will discover what fulfills them.
Be not fooled by February, but adored. Start with a simple loving-kindness meditation, as simplified as, “I am enough.” Meditate or breathe with this mantra for two-five minutes in the morning and at night. You can do it while showering and getting breakfast made, or while brushing teeth and laying into bed.
Love does not need to be complicated.
Its purest form stems from your soul. Your spirit. Your heart. Your light. However you deem its place at the center of your humanness. We are born full of love. It is an internal process manifested as tasks, gifts, service … If you have difficulty in acknowledging that, my guess is that you already offer it up in so many ways:
Working late.
Kissing cheeks and reading bedtime stories.
Cooking meals.
Sewing patches on worn out pant-knees and shirt-elbows.
Saying ‘yes’ to meeting someone for a coffee/drink/meal.
Walking the dogs.
Balancing the checkbook.
Teaching a class/workshop/lecture.
Everybody else.
Surely, you do this out of love. Surely, you do this out of the admiration you have for your job, role, and relationship. And it’s admirable. It’s really quite lovely.
The next item – the next 5 items – on this list, try to put yourself at the top. For your intentions. For your few moments of rest and silence. For instilling calm and acceptance and true awareness that you deserve it. You deserve the same amount of love that you’re already providing for everyone else.
Sometimes our Anxiety takes a front seat, and suggests, “But are you worth it, Carly? Can you afford giving yourself any attention?” Thank you, dear Anxiety – for you can serve me when I am preparing for a speaking engagement, or writing presentation material, or organizing a school event. Yes, thank you. Although today you can take a back seat (and I’ve got a wicked thumb-waving, ‘hit-the-road-Jack’ kind of motion going on right now). You have honored my nerves when necessary, but trying to diminish the importance of my self-worth, is, how shall I put it? Uncool.
You, too, dear reader, are very much worth every bit of it.
Choose yourself.
Choose love, by choosing yourself. Buy yourself some damn flowers if that’s what will make you feel glee. Let’s decide that the 14th can be (as in this year), simply another Thursday.
(And save the candy for another day.)