These days, it’s wonderful practice to express our appreciation for one another. Whether it’s someone who chose to help you with a work task, or who offered you some guidance, or lent their ear for you to vent. We can ‘thank’ that person and perhaps pay it forward by doing the same for someone else. Considering our current socio/economic/political climate, it can be so nice to hear of such stories in the media, read about them on the internet, and experience them in our own lives. (For example, check out Tank’s Good News.)

On an external level, kindness can be self-gratifying because it makes others feel good, which in turn, usually makes us feel good. Makes others feel heard and seen, and when we can be a part of that, it can be reciprocal. I’ll never forget the simple smile that another parent provided me at a childcare drop-off one morning, when my son was young; there was a certain knowing-ness in their eyes and behind the gesture was an offering of: “I’ve been there, too.”

Some such moments might be fleeting, yet they can change things in our lives drastically. Leaving a few extra quarters on the next parking meter you’re at may help out a dad rushing into the grocery store just for one more dinner item. Holding the door a few extra moments might save one mom many tears, as she pushes an empty stroller, actually carrying its inhabitant (re: sleeping toddler) on her hip.

For yourself … what acts of kindness are you performing? Are you sticking with the thoughts that serve you or those that knock you down? The ones that actually seem to shut the door just before you enter it?

Gratitude is both an attitude AND a practice. (And we may have seen that sentiment on Target t-shirts, but there’s real truth to it.)

One of the elements of a growing gratitude practice, is that it becomes stronger and more accessible as we remember to cultivate appreciation for the internal experiences of our lives, rather than solely focus on the external. Gratitude, in its simplest demeanor, is peace expressed based on how we feel inside, less about what is directly in front of us.

Of course, we can be thankful for the car, or house, or food that meets our eyes. They serve a great purpose and function. What other symbols might be represented by the structures themselves? Possibilities might include independence, nourishment, fulfillment, warmth, protection, mobility, etc.

Here are 5 Tips that may help initiate or strengthen a Gratitude practice:

1. Think of one person, thing, or area of your life (yes right now) that you can express thanks for. You don’t need to elaborate on the why, simply bring that entity to your mind. Maybe close your eyes and a hand to your heart, and vocalize, “Thank You.” (In setting up intentions or goals, starting with one is a nice place to begin.)
2. Notice your breath, and perhaps focus on the exhale. Exhales can help initiate slower breathing. Slower breaths activate the parasympathetic nervous system. When our PNS is activated, we’re more receptive to engaging with others and personal practices that soothe. Soothing practices can feel nice in our bodies and we may continue them more often.
3. Discover a consistent space where you can write or express your gratitude. I’ve seen ideas such as placing post-its around your home with kind thoughts. Some folks journal in a favorite notebook. I’ve seen videos of young kiddos reciting appreciation in their morning mirror routine. Our own family keeps a mason jar on the dining room, and as the thought comes to one of us, we write it down and put it in the container. (On New Year’s Eve we read them all and cast them into a fire pit in the backyard, making more physical and mental room for gratitude the following year.)
4. Invite others to participate in the gratitude practice with you. Akin to starting a habit of almost any kind, it can be helpful to involve a ‘buddy’ to support the venture. I will always be thankful for my sisters whom I could rely on in high school sports, to motivate me working as a better team member during practice or a game!
5. Remember that your (in)consistency in gratitude does not need to include self-shame. Full disclosure, I am writing this one in part on behalf of my own personal reminder! The mason jar I mentioned above? I don’t put something into it every day. As a collective, I find thanks for people and things in my life frequently, though it remains important to honor that I may forget or take pause in this practice, too. It doesn’t mean anything other than that I have room to pick it back up.

I hope these are helpful for you.  As always, reach out if you need more support.  I am thankful for each of you!