“You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth.” [H. L. Mencken]

The title of this post was the name of my first website blog, initiating somewhere in the late-90s when I was just about to begin high school. Seems unfindable now – which is perhaps just as well. Though I wonder, what could it mean to expand my personal and professional explorations of ‘Self,’ when it appears like former versions are somewhat lost or gone?

Social media and most general technology these days feels like both a blessing and nuisance. It is the primary way in which we can communicate from afar, create a workspace, and generate a vehicle in which (some personal) and most professional lives can happen. It saves a lot (though no everything) to a cloud of some kind, so I hear. And there are moments when you wish it deleted everything out there. There is also an irony in serving clients in an online capacity, while encouraging them simultaneously to “unplug” at least daily, and for quite possibly a large chunk of the day.

Our kiddos utilize technology for their schooling, crafts, and downtime. They can maintain a sense of connection to their family across the country with Facetime. My son began his academic lineage through this virtual context with Kindergarten in the pandemic; my daughter has reached the point of using the occasional boyband music as a means of soothing her rougher days, cranking up BTS from the computer.

I’m reaching you online right now, aren’t I?

And the ways in which ‘I Aim to Grow’ my business can often depend on the nature of how technology serves. How I market, how I engage. It’s like much relationship-building these days. This ‘network thing’ more like ‘occupational dating.’ Not as easy to acquire folks I plan to work with simply by strolling the Wissahickon park system (though wouldn’t that be lovely!)

As I age, I also notice the shifts in my experience to technology on a sort of physiological level. Beginning a blog felt somewhat artsy and exciting. I began diving into it more consistently when my private practice began because I had ‘heard’ that words matter on the web, and SEO could be affected, and while I recognize the benefits of following some sort of suit when carving out a professional stance, I’ve also aimed to make it a mission to try and be real with people time to time. To connect in person. To see those facial expressions and body language cues in real time.

I miss much of it, currently. And while I scatter impressions on the keyboard of my Mac during this revelation of just how much I missed writing not only for myself, but perhaps a reader (or two) out there, to create this syntax, I miss the flesh. I miss the smells and other wildly engaging sensory affection of being in shared physical (and thus, energetic), space with people.

Perhaps it’s coming soon. More of this.
Perhaps we’re not so sure.

For now, I write. Maybe not as frequently (obviously) as before my availability & mental capacity was struck down and out, but just maybe enough for now. This could be the unearthing of a lost version of my person in prose.

Hope you’re well.