Author: carlymcdade

“ … There was a time in my life, back when I was really little —

— Little like me, Mama?

Yes, just like you, Sweetie…when I can remember the sounds of your grandmother’s fragrant voice, singing “Gilda’s Song” from The Wizard of Oz.  Do you know it?  ‘Wake up, wake up, whereeeevvver you are, and meet the young lady who feel from a star’ … ”

Consider this a lullaby.  Like a soft, warm blanket used to cover up the girl who stirs from her slumber, afraid of the ‘monster’ or the ‘dark’ or the ‘whatever-it-took-to-get-mom-into-my-room-for-a-back-rub.”  And you see, the story worked (this time).

We are all storytellers.  It’s exactly what our lives are made up of:  information we gather to know something, to believe in something; lessons learned of family traditions passed from one generation to the next.  They can be created to a point of urgency (as noted in the above excerpt to get your daughter back to sleep at 3am).  Sometimes the stories we tell are merely lovely; perhaps they are composed due to outright necessity.  Consider the refugee who relays imperative knowledge to his son for physical safety and survival.  For the chance to live for another day.

And yet:  what we tell ourselves is often true, but not always accurate.  By way of our collective experiences had throughout our lives, self-talk for example, might only serve us in its exact moment of expression – even when it’s irrational.  With clients who endure grave anxiety or poor social boundaries, we’ll explore the reality formations to which they identify presenting problems.  “I know he doesn’t like me because I am too much of a pest.  I bother him by asking him to call me each night.  I guess I’ll be alone forever.”  In reframing the issues, sometimes in offering an additional perspective or a contextual intervention to help normalize their experience, supports the opportunity to also challenge the client on his/her accountability in the interaction.  Conflictual reactions can occur internally, or among interpersonal relationships, such as with one’s boyfriend.

Personally, I am often contemplating vrtti, or, “the modifications of the mind-stuff” as described in the 1^st book of the Yoga Sutras.  In this way, we are constantly encountering ‘disturbances to our peace’ (re: think, self-talk) which can ultimately compromise our ability to feel steady or balanced, especially if we are paying too much attention to the fluctuations or passing judgment in even thinking of them.  Don’t give them all the credit!  You have the whereabouts to manage your “mind-stuff.”  You may want to use a few strategies in order to reign it all in.  Meditation is just one way that has proven to help lessen judgments on the self.  Helping to quiet the mind, while not muting it all together.

And here, the very goal of EmBodyed Tides is to represent a space where you as readers, myself as writer, and us as community, might be able to cohesively and honestly reflect on this “mind-stuff,” to see that in the end, it’s all a story.  We each have the talent and opportunity to write out the story of our lives by way of individual choice and action.  Don’t fear the edits, or the revisions.  They all add to the comparative experiences of you honoring your truths, exactly as they arise.  Be kind to trust in your story, while recognizing that another’s version is not wrong.  And if you get stuck along the way, without solely the assistance from your friendly thesaurus, you can always voice concerns to a close friend, family member, or professional, who just might be the listener needed to support your prose, and your life.

 

 

Author’s note:  As this program develops, so does our Contact info!  If you, or anyone you know has questions or topics that you would like to be discussed in the blog, feel free to email them to embodyedtides@gmail.com.  Thank you.

“As far as the moon is concerned, (s)he is always full.”  [Terri Guillemets, an adaptation]

I happened upon this quote over the summer, smiling in recognizing its truthfulness and simplicity.  A sentiment full of whimsy and wisdom applicable to all creatures.  The fluctuations of Earth’s tidal patterns are often emotionally and/or physically felt due to the (discerned) lunar cycle throughout the month.  Geographically from where I write, we are about to experience a Full moon tomorrow night.  These shifts often have a great effect on people and relationships across work, with friends or lovers, and frequently for ourselves.  It begs the question, how might we apply a similar embodiment of “enoughness” within our own lives?  Can we begin to honor ourselves (and others) as consistently ‘full,’ and therefore build acceptance across daily interactions?  Can we be kind towards one another, and especially ourselves, despite encountering someone’s “bad” mood, or “dismissive” attitude?  Consider perhaps, the fact that everyone in every moment, is merely casting a striation of themselves, comprised of whatever unique light-and-shadow perspective is observable at the time.

In yoga, the Niyamas are 5-identified internal observances, performed continuously (in an ideal scenario), which assists the individual in working towards spiritual momentum, enlightenment.  One such Niyama is Samtosa (pronounced, “San-tōsha”), otherwise defined as contentment.  This capacity of accepting what is, and living life in a non-coveting manner, is importantly distinguished as an active practice, rather than a passive function.  It’s not an easy position to face pains or sufferings with acceptance.  Every person has his or her own examples:  a car accident that sets you back financially, a fight with a colleague that causes you to question returning to a negative work environment.  Many of us experience the promiscuous insecurity of which material things support our image or role by societal standards.

Instead, I encourage you to believe in letting be.  Believe that you already have everything you are meant to; your soul stirring away in the vehicle of your body is distinctive and purposeful.  Trust that pining for other ‘things’ in life may help with temporary woes, but objectifying happiness is not a cure to the longevity of gratitude.  Practice towards contentment, and know that we all travel along with the moon – illuminating and illuminated by one another.  Ridding of whatever no longer serves us, and fully engaging in the starlit possibilities that create space for tolerance, light, and love.

Recently, I chaperoned a field trip to the Philadelphia Zoo with my daughter’s class from daycare.  I can’t exactly remember the last time I had attended, and it was her first time there.  The morning’s temperature was pleasant, and the children’s’ temperament was of course bubbly.  “This is going to be fun!” she exclaimed.  I nodded in agreement, although felt wearily in my stomach a pit that had seemingly developed between eating breakfast and getting onto the bus.

We bustled along the back roads of Philly, singing some nursery rhymes and starting in on the abundance of snacks one must pack to survive a day (hour?) out with a young toddler.  Shortly after we arrived to the park, a sea of neon yellow t-shirts lined the fence, half-listening to the teacher’s rules and instructions.  We each received our bracelets for entry and were essentially let loose onto campus.  The pit in my stomach re-announced itself, and as we came face-to-face with some of the first caged animals, I immediately knew why.

Before I even moved to the region of the City of Brotherly Love, I felt some sort of proud attachment to its zoo.  One of my aunt’s worked on the chimpanzee exhibit, many years ago with her architecture firm.  At some point, my sisters, parents and I came to visit her and saw the magnificence of the structures that housed such beloved mammals, reptiles, birds – creatures of all kinds.  It felt compassionate at the time:  to observe these amazing animals in all their glory.  Surrounded by safe shelters, dune grasses and shade.  Water and food available on command.

Fast-forward 20-something years later, and here I stand on the other side of that same glass.  On the other side of my childhood.  Feeling like I am on the other side of the world.  My daughter’s eyes are wide and glistening with awe, but my stomach is churning.  Nothing ‘native’ about these habitats, certainly.  And I don’t believe it a matter of the zoo pretending that they are.  Although there exists a façade that the animals are “safe and happy,” protected from their natural enemies.  But (I thought) aren’t we humans, sustaining them in their urban captivity, acting out as some of the most natural enemies of all? … …

Then just this past week, a client of mine who lost her father nearly 4 years ago, admitted her own recent realization:  she had not yet fully allowed herself to mourn.  *Molly discussed that although as a child she understood death as a natural part of the life-cycle, dealing with such complex, post-humus realities was a well-swept-away secret within her family system.  “We really just didn’t talk about it.  If someone died, we’d simply go through the motions.  Attend the wake, the funeral, and lunch afterwards.  And then the next day you were supposed to just move on with your life.”  From a traditionally Irish-Catholic lineage, Molly jokes that drinking is the only consistent coping skill in her heritage.  As she has been confronting some of her own mental health issues the last two years, Molly initially turned to her religious upbringing for support.  After experiencing several panic and anxiety attacks which eventually landed her at a local psychiatric hospital, Molly remembers contemplating the spiritual pillar of her family’s background.  “I don’t think I had ever questioned my parent’s belief in God, because I never really questioned my parent’s anything.”

Since continuing with outpatient therapy, Molly has remained out of work, which is as she puts it:  “way too much time on my hands.”  As she works towards feeling more fully functional, this week’s session led her to ask, “What does it mean if I feel like I am letting go of my faith?”  We explored the origins of her Catholicism from an individual and familial perspective.  We talked about her recent in-depth explorations of other capacities (science, relationships, parenting) that have begun to interfere with her steadfast anchor of what was always “right.”

In sitting with her question, and sifting through our conversations, I began internally to reflect on my aforementioned zoo experiences.  After we returned from the field trip, I realized that my nostalgic memory of the same park – the lighthearted event as a 10 year-old seeing a range of wild animals – was true and lovely and “right” for me at that time.  Though now, with so many different and rich life experiences behind me, I was also right  in feeling my present emotions.  I was simply becoming more awake.  Awakening as an intellect.  As a fellow animal.  As a part of this indescribable universe.  I suggested to Molly, “Perhaps with your increased knowledge, you are becoming more aware of what you didn’t know.  And the more that we learn, the more questions we have.”  It’s not to say that what she (or any of us) have experienced in the past was “wrong” or “right.”  It just might be that what we “knew” was exactly what we needed at the time, before we were able or permitted to ask questions.

The minor pangs of melancholy cast upon my heart that zoo-morning are not forgotten.  Although they certainly did not end up defining the trip.  It was a lovely experience to see my own little one against the background of Mama and Papa lions snuggling their cubs.  To see her feed the ducklings, and prance among the hippos bathing in muddy waters.  It brought me to a deeper understanding of what I value.  It led me to contemplate my resonance with the underpinnings of Mother Earth.  It continues to add on to my life’s narrative and journey in growth and connection.  Be it your faith – of any spiritual ideology or entity – be it the benevolence you offer another person or creature on this planet.  Sustain that truth for yourself with heart and vulnerability.  Learn.  Love.  We are all in this together.

 

(Author’s note:  For confidentiality purposes and to protect her identity under HIPAA policy and law, *Molly’s name has been changed for this post.)

Okay, so I’m not exactly sure when the term self-care became trendy or more appropriate for the masses.  Whatever the case (be it good fortune or modern technological advances that helped generate its lucrative publicity), it’s a good thing, certainly, that it has become more well-known.  However, recently it would appear the term has also become somewhat saturated.  When I discuss it with clients – or even with friends and family – at times I feel as though I perceive an inner (or actual) eye-roll from the person across from me.  Their body language responds to the suggestion as if it were unreachable.  Uncomfortable.  Maybe even unworthy.  As if to say that negotiating any time in their busy life to tend to themselves is rather low on the totem pole of priorities.

I get it.  Or at the very least, I can imagine how this happens today.  Spreading ourselves too thin.  Worrying about others’ needs or expectations well before or above our own.  Expending time and energy from a very logistical and urgent place, be it at work, at home, in our relationships.  (Note:  I wrote a logistical place, not an altruistic place.)  Self-care these days is often viewed as superfluous as meandering around Facebook, Instagram, or any other social media outlet.  “A brief disconnect,” one might argue.  “It’s how I check-out while also keeping up with others and the news.”  Can these social streams connect both ends of that ideology?  Perhaps.  Can they disarm us from a fundamentally human approach to living?  Absolutely.

And don’t get me wrong:  some of my self-care tactics include sitting down for an hour of poorly-scripted ‘reality’ television with a glass of red wine.  Unwinding is important – more so, crucial to the avoidance of burnout.  But, when did self-care become secondary; supplementary depending on the weight or intensity of one’s day?  Treated like a reward system for accomplishing XYZ?

As an EmbodyedTides favorite, review the following definitions:  Self – “a person’s essential being that distinguishes them from another.”  Care – “the provision of what is necessary for health, welfare and protection of something.”  (Aka, YOU!)  Undoubtedly, we encounter varied circumstances and people and situations every day.  Because of that, I urge you to work towards developing self-care tools that serve as continued, stable activities which mentally reduce stress and anxiety, and further establish your position to handle daily fluctuations that will occur.

Taking into account the current chaos around our nation, it is a more important time than ever to prescribe mindful measures as a footing for our connection with one another.  “But aren’t you asking me to then separate myself in order to be with other people?  Isn’t that backwards?”  What I am asking, for lack of a better phrase, is that you tune in rather than tune out.  Each person will approach this idea with a different mindset.  But that is the point, right?  Give to yourSELF so that you can deepen internal clarity, and are able subsequently to give unto others.  Lay down in the grass and look up at the clouds.  Listen to classical music.  Or hip-hop.  Or country songs.  Call up a friend and take a walk.  Make art.  Write.  Volunteer at your local library.  Make these a part of your routine, and do not neglect the chance to engage in something that feeds your soul because of whatever you “didn’t get done” today.

Overextending yourself by mistake or on purpose is preventable.  If we remain idle to or on the sidelines of our own inner light, then we consent to the greater possibility of an unbalanced quality of life.  Take time for yourself as you would presumably care for others in your home.  Many teachers have said it before, “You cannot pour tea from an empty cup.”  Replenish and rejuvenate, and please be well.

#blacklivesmatter

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be.  It’s the way it is.  The way we cope with it, is what makes the difference.”  Virginia Satir (American pioneer in family therapy.)

There are several readings, quotes, and theories about the ideals of living life with less or without any expectation, supporting the idea of fate.  That there is little-to-no deviation from what the general course of our lives will look like despite what we do or say.  On the other side, there are many whom could argue that our choices in fact dictate our actions and that we have total control of our experiences.  I can’t give you the answer, but in my truth (as I observe in several of life’s funny ways), I find a blend to these notions, neither of which is absolute in their sentiments.

From a very primal standpoint, reactions we have to circumstances may navigate our success in survivability.  Or, at the very least, next possible reactions to next possible circumstances.  (Consider:  fight/flight/freeze).  This balance gives us a real look into living more presently, acutely aware of our surroundings.  Living with this increased attention may even assist our parenting and understanding that our kids’ choices and reactions need to be just that:  their own.  Mindfully parenting though can be a significant challenge as we have become susceptible to the mass penetration of social media, “how-to” books and workshops, and the otherwise gauntlet of information steadily flowing at our inboxes.  Be it a first-time parent, or s/he who is looking to mix things up with their next kiddos:  exactly how are we to know what the right ways of raising children looks like?

I recently dove into Jessica Lahey’s, “The Gift of Failure:  How the Best Parents Learn to Let Go so Their Children Can Succeed.”  User-friendly, readable and relatable.  There is a lot of tolerable storytelling and healthy nuggets of suggestion.  She speaks eloquently and simply about the concept of making mistakes – not so to relinquish in the pains of one’s errors – but to thrive in their lessons.  As parents, we can help facilitate this by encouraging our child’s growth mindset, as compared to the fixed.  She highlights, “All praise is not equal.  ‘You’re a smart kid’ is very different from ‘You worked so hard on that French homework; it must have felt really good to have done well on that assignment.’  The first statement makes a judgment, and even if it seems like a positive and loving judgment, it has a negative effect on performance.  ‘You are smart’ judges and labels the person, not the product.  If I tell my son that he’s smart, I’m telling him that I value him for being smart, and he’s going to be a lot less likely to try things that might damage his ‘smart’ label, lest he fail, which, in his kid brain, could cause me to withdraw my love and approval.  However, if I tell him that I am proud of him for the effort he put into editing the short story he wrote last week, I am reinforcing behavior, not judging him” (p 62).

By helping navigate murky waters of challenging academic and/or social situations, we foster the kind of resilient and self-propelled advocates of our youth as they grow into young adults.  Aged (and still aging) now towards my own pursuits, I revel in the days when I can reflect on a misstep for another opportunity.  And, this is not to proclaim that nothing gets me down, or that I never question the reasoning behind barriers that slow my progress.  But I recognize that the act in saving myself through awareness or a repeated try is a truly remarkable gift in accountability of the choices and actions I have made, which lead me to eventual success.  (“success” also meaning:  a subjective and at times rather different end-goal than anticipated.)

Lahey also points out that accompanied with any habit-altering ways of parenting, this can be a dominant switch which requires deep effort and patience.  It’s not the time for passivity; note that stepping out of the way to support our kids’ experiences is by no means lackadaisical.  It takes a great deal of action and love to foresee and then watch them stumble.  And what’s more, here we arrive again questioning our position as an authoritative or protector in nearly helping them fall:  “We are expected to feel good about ourselves and our parenting as we raise our children naturally and intuitively, while poring over more parenting books and magazines than ever about how to raise smart and creative and empathetic children who practice piano on their own, sleeps nine hours a night, and play varsity soccer as freshmen…As we sift through the reams of parenting advice, we are left to strike our own balance between work and home, trust in our instincts, and trust in the experts.  Today, parenting is less oxytocin-soaked rosy glow, more adrenaline-fueled oncoming headlight glare” (p. 16).

So, the wrong ways in parenting?  Several.  The right ways?  Maybe even more.  I’ll find myself many nights settling into bed thinking about all the ‘what if’ options that could have occurred that day.  And then I realize that the very reflection on any experienced blunders helps me build up confidence in exploring and salvaging the next ones.  Create a support system of your fellow co-parents, neighborhood friends, teachers and experts in the field.  Listen to your children.  Honor their wishes.  Hold them accountable.  Ultimately trust your gut, and believe me when I say there is no cap on the timeframe of learning.  We are all aiming to grow, and developing our truest selves through the persistence and fluctuations of uncertainty.

Profanity.  Love it or hate it, you’ve probably heard it, and I guarantee you most definitely have been using it.  No, I’m not talking about the S-word or F-word or any other X-pletive you might have chosen to call out after stubbing your toe, or getting into a heated argument.  I am talking about one of the most common curse words we encounter in the English language:  should.  The dreaded, should.  By definition, the word elicits a fairly negative connotation:  “to indicate obligation, duty, or correctness, typically when criticizing someone’s actions.”  Think of how often this word arises in your vocabulary.  Better yet, track it.  Give it one day and count how often you either say it yourself, or hear it from those around you.  Then, if you dare, consider the context under which the ‘should’ arises, and you might begin to understand why I label it a superfluous, curse word.

When in session, and I hear a client start their narrative with “I should ….” I try, in a most empathetic way, to stop them as soon as possible.  (Really, in a kind fashion.)  In helping someone revise the story they have been telling themselves, we work on reframing ‘shoulds’ with other useful words that inflect a more empowered meaning and motivation towards their goals.  At times it is, “I might …” and then, “I will …”  In my opinion, I think it even does someone better when they put out into the world, “I guess I could …” instead of ‘should.’  Who after all is guiding our indication of anything that we move towards?  That’s right, it’s us!  (More to come in future posts about how much we actually control…but I digress).  And by no means does that collective ‘us’ imply that we must live up to others’ ideals or standards; rather we can decide that in each present moment, we are taking on the great responsibility and honor in living authentically.

“I should be a better mom to my kids like my other friends.”
“We should be nicer to each other after a long day at work.”
“I shouldn’t eat this doughnut if I want to fit into my bikini this year!” 

The idea here, is that we’re kicking ourselves when we’re already on the way down.  Of course, goals are important and a part of healthy, active living from a physical and psychological standpoint.  Though when comparing yourself to where you ‘should’ be, little room is left for any encouragement that might sustain affirmative outcomes of your next-step actions or accomplishments.  You might have heard about the Law of Attraction, a concept popularized during the late 19^th century which supports that whatever desires and expectations we most dominantly and energetically ask for from the universe, comes back to us.  This concept traces further back in other philosophies and traditions – the notion that ‘like becomes like’ can serve emotions, relationships, and other such tangibles.

Beginning perhaps with a shift:  “We will make a concerted effort to be nicer to each other at the end of a long day.”  Or, “I guess I could skip eating the doughnut this time knowing my fitness goals for the season.”  In either statement the narrator is no longer a victim to his/her own criticisms.  Rather, there is opportunity to promote accountability and empowerment in the same sentiment.  How about we promote the best chance possible in receiving desirables (be them concrete or not) and forget shoulding all over ourselves?  As with developing a consistent habit, you may be pleasantly surprised when the fluidity of your self-talk is more smooth and positive.  Though what a lovely change!

In today’s world – we are constantly aroused/expended.  Think about it:  work, family, friends, school.  Electronics might have their own category altogether –> phones, computers, tablets, social media overload.  The very light emitting from my screen as I type this, is likely interfering with any opportunity I have to wind-down just before bed.  We’re always plugged in.  Always turned on.

So, if this is the case, the amount of energy we are constantly putting out may not be able to compete with the value of sustaining energy within.  Especially if we’re not focused on our ability to do so.  How often are you bustling about your day, with everything going on and simultaneously feeling concerned that despite everything you’ve accomplished, therein lies self-doubt?  Like it wasn’t enough?  Perhaps in pondering these very questions, you might have mentally or physically noticed a shortness to your breath.  Maybe you even held it as you contemplated the answers.  This shallow disposition may have only allowed the inhale or exhale to make its way to the bottom of your throat, rather than low and deep in the belly.

The breath.  What a powerful tool we have at our disposal; what an oft forgotten method of helping to quiet the pangs of shame, self-doubt or panic in our day-to-day life.  I wonder if you take time this week then to engage in a little experiment.  When you encounter such a moment – a period of questioning your “enoughness” – find where your breath lies.  Think of it now in order to get started.  How deep in the torso can you feel your inhales and exhales?  Allow yourself to recognize this natural rhythm with as little judgment as possible.  Just take notice of it …

In counseling, we greet clients who experience a range of mental health and wellness issues that usually affect or are affected by the breath.  This happens to us as therapists, too!  Anxiety is one of the most common mental health symptoms; I am often working with clients on how to breathe deeply, more slowly and fully.  If you consider a panic attack for example, the breath is shallow and quick, often stunted by way of intense bursts of fear or worry that accompany someone’s present or past situation (e.g. a person, event, flashback or other trigger).  Through mindful breathing exercises, and with consistent practice, s/he becomes able to achieve a more palpable coping skill that encourages the parasympathetic nervous system, allowing one to calm or relax the mind, and also the body.

Of course, there is a plethora of mindfulness and breathwork available to us, which is a true gift.  Though it can feel redundant and overwhelming to research.  I recently read a wonderful text by psychiatrists Dr. Richard Brown and Dr. Patricia Gerbarg, titled The Healing Power of the Breath.  They lay out in an accessible and progressive way, some of the different techniques in exploring how to use your breath, from a voluntary standpoint even amidst at some times, involuntary circumstances (e.g. relationships, work, self-reflection).  They offer methods that transcend disciplines and across Eastern and Western philosophies, such as Coherent, Resistant (in yoga known as ‘Ujayi’), and Total breath.  Highly recommended book.

In yoga, the use of breathwork known as Pranayama, is a component that can be cultivated during āsana practice and in preparation for meditation, as one works towards quieting the mind.  Different pranayamas range in their intensity and adaptability to the student’s current needs.  If you have studied yoga, you might have also heard of the term mantra, which broken down is defined as “tool for thought.”  Perhaps you’ve attended a class when the instructor offered up space for you to set an intention.  To set an idea for yourself during the practice on which to reflect while coming to the mat.  The mantra of “Inhale, Let; Exhale, Go” is one such mantra that I find can be helpful for me as much off the mat as on.  Driving in traffic:  inhale, let; exhale go.  Fighting – or better yet, resisting to fight – with my toddler:  inhale, let; exhale go.  Combatting the daily mind chatter known as my ego:  inhale, let; exhale go.

Play around with your breath and its natural rhythms.  Work towards elongating and steadying it consistently during times of relaxation.  Allow that effort to serve you during times of struggle.  Take the time to practice it, and don’t doubt your abilities to incorporate it in some way that helps you.  Slow down.  Unwind.  Breathe.

 

 

 

(Author’s note:  Consult your doctor before practicing any breathing exercises, as current or possible health-limiting issues may be impacted.)

Consider this – a beginning.  Not the beginning of it all or anything quite that profound, but a ‘beginning’ nonetheless.  I’ve blogged before, and I enjoy keeping up with others’ writings, too (a lengthy list indeed).  However, I’ve recognized more recently that my previous virtual-exploration was approaching in its own sense, a kind of ‘end.’  Albeit not so final that I withhold the possibility of unleashing other rants comprised of mainly personal matters in the future, but that is what it was always intended to do.  Reflect from an intrapersonal space …  … and then of course blast it out on the internets. (*insert chuckle here.)

And though not so structured in any kind of time frame, I found release of these ideas, these observations, to be quite helpful and self-serving when I decided (needed) to write them.  Lately, so much has been happening in my personal life and professional life, across which – and more than ever – such inklings are transcending among said capacities in truly amazing and multidimensional ways.  In such dynamic ways that I am ever aware to the notion that they might serve others, too.   So this new venture, Embodyed Tides, was created.  It was created with the idea that we are a sum of our parts, and maybe now is a wonderful time for me to recite additional nuances and inspirations that speak to me in a personal (woman, daughter, sister, mother, wife, friend, etc), and professional (therapist, yoga instructor) manner, which in turn may resonate deeply with others.  Perhaps with you.  And because of your time, I consider this beginning, the beginning of a large THANK YOU to that wondrous universe of ours.  So, thank you.